Wat hv I changed in2?!?!?!
i noe im not ur goody boi.....i noe i hv nver been d best......but wat has happened 2 mi now?!?!?! it seems tt i hv changed in2 dis monster......it seems lyk a drastic change......now i go F*ck u n point d finger jus 4 d fun of it.....i dunno wat i hv become now.....i dunno wat i am goin 2 do abt it now.....im jus so lost.....i dunno wat 2 do......i call out.....but it seems lyk no 1 is dere 2 listen.....wat hv i become.....WAT HV I BECOME....i was never dis perverse or vulgar.......i never used d word "f*ck" before comin 2 sec skool.....wat hv i become.......i hate wat i hv become......but it jus seems lyk a part of mi now......i jus feel so f*cked up.......so helpless lyk deres nothin....no 1 hu can help mi......n wif dem upcomin tests n projects.........AHHHHH.....im reachin d breakin point man........though i mae not show it........but d animosity 2wards miself......jus keeps welling up n welling up.........i hate miself........no1 understands mi........i dun tell mi parents wat i feel dey wun understand........no1 does.......i hv no true frenz........God doesnt seem 2 help mi........i hate miself........is dere sumthin wrong wif mi???.........is dere sumthin tt i done???......i feel so lonely.......i hate life........mostly i hate miself...........overwhelmed wif hate........i hate wat i do........i apologise 2 dose i hv hurt wif mi language..........its jus mi not u all..........FUCK MI
5 Comments:
chillll.
you know. all you have to do is just make the effort to be better. and God will help you. after all, he died for useless worthless people like us.. what else cant He do. just trust in Him mann. sorry didnt have time to talk to you today. all the stupid tests alsoooooooo bahh.
zeslene
hey dude. take things easy man. it's okay. before i went into sec school. i was very innocent too. you think i'm areally good gal? i'd tell you 'no'. i lived a double standard life. and prob now i am too. i'm not saying this to stumble you, but to tell you that it's all part and parcel of life. nobody's perfect. pls dont let the devil put words into your head to tell you all the bad stuff about urself. you know it urself that if you know that ure wrong and you come to God for forgiveness, u are forgiven. but whether you cont. doing what u've gone to seek forgiveness for, is another matter. dont give up on trusting the Lord. it's tough. but we just have got to. now, we just have to watch out tongue. no matter how great the influence of ur sch pple are. we hafta stand up for wad's right. the tongue that we use to curse and swear, is also the same tongue we use to praise the Lord. yupps. u take care alright! =) and dont hate urself. yupps?? we arent supposed to hate anyway. will be praying for ya. X)
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My friend,
It's all to do with your hormones. It's part of a passing phase and it is during this time that you will feel angry with yourself, your family and all those around you. You may not even like yourself or others. All of us went through this phase. The question is not so much how to control it but how to deal with it as it comes.
Just like a solder down in the trenches facing a barrage of artillery fires raining down on him, he is fearful, angry and alone. He could only see the fear, smoke and the destruction surrounding him. But if he would be focus through all that chaos, he would see that there are all his buddies beside him all the time.
Your family with you all the time, you may think that they don't understand but they do. You may think that they don't listen but they do. The smoke and fire ragging inside and outside is blocking you from the true view of the situation.
And just the barrage of artilleries it would go away. Moods will swing back to normal. The character is build when one learns to disciples and control himself in the mist of this ragging anger and frustration.
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