Tapitoo: Koinonia

perhaps this should come as a fresh breath of air. i shall try 2 stay afloat as long as possible, and by God's grace i shall. blessed are the feet whom bring good news, rather everything does. =)

Koinonia - fellowship in Hebrew, the theme of our retreat.

Day 1

anticipation and apprehension, mixed feelings of both excitement and this distasteful solitude i felt as we boarded our bus. excitement - the pleasure of getting away from all the work, the freedom from all duties and perhaps to find peace within. solitude - for when had i ever treated the people on the bus well? would i ever be accepted? the never ending struggle within continued. and thus we set off. Bus 6, what a beautiful name, what a pleasure to be amongst the 6 of them. =) not just a bus but the fellowship group within made being in this bus such a blessing.

- nelson
- phuisee
- gladys
- gaomin
- edith
- jialea

going there were just 6, but these people tore apart the quiet fortitudes of which i had created, my haven. and suddenly i found myself playing games as a part of a body. =) concentration and please-will-you-follow-me. and yes i lost, but i had never expected to receive this kind reception from people whom i had not talked to 4 ages. and i was quite surprised that i didnt want to leave the bus as we reached our destination. the Marriot Hotel - Putra Jaya

bunkmates - nelson and josie (who was due in the next day), established our masculine presence in the room by jumping and rolling on the beds, without shoes though. afterward we surveyed the landscape and bought cards.

then came dinner and service. there were so many meals in the same place that i have forgotten when and whom i sat with. and thus i went into the service hall with a much expectant heart now soothed by fellowships gentle touch. the notes are included. =)

Koinonia - 4th June 2007 (Night)

A Sword in the Hand of Faith

Have we made a decision to accept the attacks of the devil instead of fighting him?
- If we do not fight, God does not have the power to work through us

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

James 1:2-4

A Faith that can be tested is not a faith that can be trusted
- We are called to be people of faith when under fire

Coming under fire is inevitable
- & it produces perseverance & maturity

The reason why we do not have faith
 Is because we doubt; do not think we can do it

If we should stand together as a body of Christ, marching together, bringing each other out of the battlefield, we can overcome everything.

“Moab has been at rest from youth,
Like wine left on its dregs,
Not poured from one jar to another –
She has not gone into exile.
So she tastes as she did,
And her aroma is unchanged.

Jeremiah 48:11

Maturity  wine (aroma & taste)

Jeremiah 48:11b 

We cannot tell how mature a person is unless he is tested
Maturity is only demonstrated with trouble.

People on fire fight fire with fire.

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Hebrews 12:2
We are to fight fire with the swords of faith

Do not focus on the problem, but on the victory - joy
Show Satan no mercy - battle until the victory can be seen

it was with this that the battle with myself officially began. against all the thoughts of death and suicide, against self-condemnation. and with the altar call came tears of repentance, repenting for all the malicious thoughts, for running away and for forsaking the God of which deserves all. joey was there besides, and i just cried my eyes out and shared the silence with him as he prayed into my life; and against it. thanks joey and thank god for everything that He has sent =) afterward i went to play daiti and hearts with some of the Bus 6 people; NELSON, EDITH n PHUISEE, whom only they and JIALEA will know the outcome of the games.

and this was the start of an incredible journey of which i would walk together with god, hearing him speak and watching him do miraculuous things around, and within me.