dammit

somehow no matter how hard i try, no matter how painful d beginning, no matter how sad or how much effort i have painstakenly put in, the end is never blissful. What the hell man. its really damn sad. my social life has dipped. my results have dipped like shit wth man i failed math. my christian life has dipped too. feel like screaming out some indecent word of vulgar expression. shit man what kinda screwed up life am i living. i may seem so friendly happy n so jovial, but ive put on my face. my entire life has seems to be so hypocritical. just play down the sick character that i play in school and i am standing in church. i really need d holy spirit now. again i reach d crossroads. i wonder this time whether will i be walking down the wide open road, following the lustful fantasies that i have so vividly imagined and played in my head. or will i choose the narrow winding road, one filled with thorns. the Lord be my guide. Amen