the surreal world
indeed its true i live in a world of my own. and sometimes i find it so hard to breakaway from this surrealism. its difficult 2 live in this miserable little world of mine, for the lack of human interaction.
it is difficult 2 balance reality and surreality. the idealism of how great life can actually be and how much this differs from the actual truth. life is meaningless if we were to live it so superficially; i have tried and i cannot understand how and why people are so satisfied with such meaningless lives, i cannot understand how they stay in the popularity rat race. why are people so concerned with all the trivial things in life? do they even know that after they die, their passing will be mourned by many, yet remembered by few? it is so superficial and so ignorant - face value living - living for the moment.
yet on the other hand, the world that i surround myself in is so unattainable. the most sickening fact about perfection and reality is that they cannot coexist. its a void that separates the 2. and as you reach towards such a possibility, it drains you of all your energy and strength, and leaves you beaten, exhausted and alone. you never have any close friends, because no one will ever understand your thoughts, your ideals. no one will ever be able 2 empathize with you, because you are unable to describe it; what comes out are words that do not aptly describe, stammering and suttering, and people are led down a varying thought path.
its true, i naturally gravitate towards the deep things and in doing so i explore concepts that oftentimes are so complex that i myself find it difficult to understand it in all its totality.
the infinity concept
the concept of infinity is unimaginable, it is mind boggling, and literally leaves one breathless. this is merely a simple illustration of the concept.
2^1 = 2 i take up one square tile.
2^2 = 4 there are so many other tiles in a shop.
2^3 = 8 there are so many other shops in one level of a shopping centre.
2^4 = 16 there are so many levels in a shopping centre.
2^5 = 32 there are so many shopping centres in one street.
2^6 = 64 there are so many streets in the city district of Singapore
2^7 = 128 there are so many districts in Singapore alone.
2^8 = 256 singapore is merely an island in the middle of the South East Asia.
2^9 = 512 south East Asia is merely a part of Asia.
2^10 = 1024 asia is merely a part of the whole continent of Euroasia.
2^11 = 2048 euroasia is only a portion of the entire world.
2^12 = 4096 the world is only 1 of the 9 planets in the solar system.
2^13 = 8192 the solar system is merely a speck in the entire Milky Way.
2^14 = 16384 the Milky Way is only one of the 1000000000000s of galaxies in the Universe
2^15 = 32768 God is greater than all of these.
2^16 = 65536 God died for me.
2^17 = 131072 this is how insignificant we are.
2^18 = 262144 this is how much God loves us
can you imagine?
the principle of love
i still cannot understand love.
humans are disgusting, despicable, shameless and self-serving. it is so difficult to love someone whose value system is so corrupted, yet at the same time, it is so difficult to express love such that the recipient is able to understand and experience the same emotions that one actually feels. love is a pain yet it is a joy.
i still dont know how to love.
yet God loves us. he is able to love us that way, with all his disgust, he is actually able to look at us and smile and rejoice that we are alive. he loves us beyond all the circumstances and our own characters.
the ultimate form of love would be willing sacrifice as demonstrated by Jesus.
to be honest, my sacrifice will NEVER be willing enough.
can you imagine?
it is difficult 2 balance reality and surreality. the idealism of how great life can actually be and how much this differs from the actual truth. life is meaningless if we were to live it so superficially; i have tried and i cannot understand how and why people are so satisfied with such meaningless lives, i cannot understand how they stay in the popularity rat race. why are people so concerned with all the trivial things in life? do they even know that after they die, their passing will be mourned by many, yet remembered by few? it is so superficial and so ignorant - face value living - living for the moment.
yet on the other hand, the world that i surround myself in is so unattainable. the most sickening fact about perfection and reality is that they cannot coexist. its a void that separates the 2. and as you reach towards such a possibility, it drains you of all your energy and strength, and leaves you beaten, exhausted and alone. you never have any close friends, because no one will ever understand your thoughts, your ideals. no one will ever be able 2 empathize with you, because you are unable to describe it; what comes out are words that do not aptly describe, stammering and suttering, and people are led down a varying thought path.
its true, i naturally gravitate towards the deep things and in doing so i explore concepts that oftentimes are so complex that i myself find it difficult to understand it in all its totality.
the infinity concept
the concept of infinity is unimaginable, it is mind boggling, and literally leaves one breathless. this is merely a simple illustration of the concept.
2^1 = 2 i take up one square tile.
2^2 = 4 there are so many other tiles in a shop.
2^3 = 8 there are so many other shops in one level of a shopping centre.
2^4 = 16 there are so many levels in a shopping centre.
2^5 = 32 there are so many shopping centres in one street.
2^6 = 64 there are so many streets in the city district of Singapore
2^7 = 128 there are so many districts in Singapore alone.
2^8 = 256 singapore is merely an island in the middle of the South East Asia.
2^9 = 512 south East Asia is merely a part of Asia.
2^10 = 1024 asia is merely a part of the whole continent of Euroasia.
2^11 = 2048 euroasia is only a portion of the entire world.
2^12 = 4096 the world is only 1 of the 9 planets in the solar system.
2^13 = 8192 the solar system is merely a speck in the entire Milky Way.
2^14 = 16384 the Milky Way is only one of the 1000000000000s of galaxies in the Universe
2^15 = 32768 God is greater than all of these.
2^16 = 65536 God died for me.
2^17 = 131072 this is how insignificant we are.
2^18 = 262144 this is how much God loves us
can you imagine?
the principle of love
i still cannot understand love.
humans are disgusting, despicable, shameless and self-serving. it is so difficult to love someone whose value system is so corrupted, yet at the same time, it is so difficult to express love such that the recipient is able to understand and experience the same emotions that one actually feels. love is a pain yet it is a joy.
i still dont know how to love.
yet God loves us. he is able to love us that way, with all his disgust, he is actually able to look at us and smile and rejoice that we are alive. he loves us beyond all the circumstances and our own characters.
the ultimate form of love would be willing sacrifice as demonstrated by Jesus.
to be honest, my sacrifice will NEVER be willing enough.
can you imagine?
4 Comments:
It's all the trivial things that make up life as a whole. Living for the moment might seem foolish and childish, but what makes up the future is exactly how you choose to live at the moment. The past is unchangeable, the future is unpredictable, no matter how much we've planned for it to turn out a certain way. So living for the moment seems good sometimes, to collect hapiness and satisfaction while sharing it with all around you, rejoice in the wonders God has left us with in this ugly world, where hapiness is never denied or condemned by anything, anything at all.
Love speaks through actions, not thoughts or words. Honestly we would only know what it is once we've experienced it. Love isnt fair or equal, just as emotions are personal. When going through the same things or making the same decisions, you could be on different thinking paths. A soulmate is indeed hard to find but while asking for understanding, let's first help others to understand ourselves :)
He sees us our weaknesses and faults and still love us selflessly and infinitely. Let's embrace those we love with such spirit, love them for just who they are, for that's what make them real and close to us, just innately, we're flawed and in need of love to rise above those flaws. To love ourselves is the first step to appreciating God's works and understanding how magnificent His love actually is :)
In terms of time, a day on earth is a thousand days in heaven. And that isn't even in the linear absolute sense that we know time to be. No one can ever fanthom God's greatness, for we, and our generations' lifetimes are mere specks in God's timeline. Yet always remember that, as you know, "the ultimate form of love would be willing sacrifice as demonstrated by Jesus", which has already been said and done. We aren't unimportant in God's sight despite his greatness. :D Love is hard, it always is. But who says we can't strive for it? No doubt that perfection is impossible to attain, but who says we have to be perfect?
Perhaps it's imperfect love. =)
HEY in your inifinity concept thingy "this is how insignificant we are" it's not exactly true! just because there are so many of us and we're merely sinful beings dont make us any insignificant! everyone shine in his/her unique way. ONE AND ONLY in God's eyes.
ooohlala i didnt know eurosia is a continent, i thought asia was one.
euroasia* freak i cant even spell that right, ok my general knowledge dies.
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