change

the thing about growing up is that it entails change. change is subtle, change is direct, change is a new way of looking at something old.

that is change.

im changing and it scares me. im becoming a different person entirely. i have essentially isolated myself from everyone emotionally and spiritually and i have gotten used to this isolation. it is now a part of me to be alone, people occasionally by my side, but never besides. i am used to it now. i am changing. i am somewhat changed.

i cry as i think about this.

God is distant.
Man is distant.
I feel no connection with anyone whatsoever.
People come, people go.
There is only work to be done.
More work.
More work.
More work.
More work.
More work.
More work.
and More work.
my world is small.
it just seems as though
there is only work and i.

life is just so dead now.
so dead...