Rebelling against no1

i realised.......tt rebellin against d world......doesnt getcha ne where......it jus kills u........slowly......real slowly........i tot no1 else other dan mi frenz understood mi........i was so wrong.........u noe mi more dan i noe miself........u noe everi single strand of hair i hv on mi head.......u planned everi thing abt n everi thing tt has, is n is goin 2 happen 2 mi.......thank u Lord........mi parents........i realise........dey noe mi more dan i noe miself..........dey noe wat im thinkin abt...........dey took care of mi since i was born......dey noe mi character.........its lyk tryin 2 fight ppl tt noe exactly wat im lyk...........im so stupid.........i was rebellin against no1........all d shit i did........d fire extinguisher box........pourin milk in2 d computer table........pullin out d metal piece off d wall...........jus 2 name a few..........all d vulgarities..........everi thing...........ppl tot i was sum paikia.......wat example as a christian hv i set???...........i was jus hurtin no1 except miself n d ppl closest 2 mi.........mi family..........mi frenz........mi God.....i feel so stupid........i feel so sorri.........2 everi 1 else ive hurt........im sorri........i hate hvin dis double personality..........i hate livin dis hypocritic life.......i hate livin a dam lie.......i jus hope tt its not 2o late 2 change..........i jus hope so..........