they just come n go

perhaps in all lifes miseries there is one thing that there is to rejoice about. our friends. but in all my time, i have lost many a good or perhaps i would say close friend and its painful to let go. i think the first one was keeren. i remember i used to sing the song Friends Forever to him thinking that he would be my "friend forever". how naive =). next came Hao Yi. we connected in primary 2 through Tiberian Sun. i lost him to a new class in primary 5. he went to EM2 and i to EM1. so far i never had any friends i could call close for at least 3 years. now im letting them go. perhaps its not meant to be. perhaps its my fault. perhaps not. anyways it just seems that friends will never last for me. i have no right to criticize anyones actions except my own. David you deserve it all. all that you lost you have brought it upon yourself. its your fault for letting them go. perhaps it is. but for now. i think i have just let the greatest friend go. i feel so lost as always. i try turning back, but there seems no difference. maybe its just up to me to blindly fumble my way through this life, banking upon the small faith that i have which is quickly fading, wondering when will be the time where this will all end. will it come fast? i hope it will, at least for me.