why am i not convinced?

i think the last post was misinterpreted. the greatest friend that one can ever have can never be materialised and there is no other possibility about who it is. there was this incident that happened on Friday. i had trained for an extra hour and was very shagged out after training. put my bags down at the clocktower and slacked around waiting for my mum. seeing another polo friend, i got up and walked towards him. the same moment i got off, a rugger friend smashed a glass notice box. he had an 8cm long and 4cm deep cut on his forearm. i quickly rushed him to the office where they called an ambulance. seeing that he already in good hands, i went back to my bag. i found it completely covered in glass, pieces bigger than my hands and neck were shrewn all over the floor. it was the exact place where i was seating less than 30 seconds before the incident happened. somehow why am i still not convinced? is there any difference between just a touch-and-go relationship and a close one? i find myself asking whats the use of having such a deep friendship, it just gets me nowhere. yea i still say grace and still pray 4 others, i try not to scold vulgarities and keep my words pure. still a christian, but is there any difference?