sine qua non: my God

restraint is the key to my salvation.
but yet, i cannot exercize any now.

not now, not until.

until i finally find you once again,
im utterly despondant.
sadness has whelmed my soul.

there is little hope left dear God
and whats left to speak of faith?

I am wishing for H1N1, my ticket
to collapse
and allow myself to fade away,
consumed in a 40 degree centigrate fever.
to escape. and i feel it coming soon.

there ill speak of no one.
and none shall speak to me.
isolation shall be
my reprisal for all i have wronged.

i am so far away God,
forgive me.