Tapitoo: am i selfish?

i wrote a poem on this theme, shall post it one of these days but i think its kinda cheesy. anyway, getting down 2 d point. these few days have been sitting on this topic of selfishness n selflessness. presently this year is d year of service, yet i find myself doing much less 2 serve. personally i feel that i have been more selfish than selfless, and very disloyal. there have been things that i have put off which werent convenient 2 me or i didnt want 2 do. selfish behaviour eh? though it really seems crazy that i would feel bad about not lending my only tie 2 another person when we both needed it, but i havent given second thoughts 2 it. yet. personally i wasnt like this before, everything was done with d thought of others first. now not so much. shit man i gotta change. god please help me put others before myself n help me 2 use what talents as a blessing 2 others. disloyalty? lately i have been asking myself this question. have i been a good enough friend when i havent been doing my utmost for others? anyone can help me answer this rhetoric question? been asking that myself accompanied with this question of service. how can u all say im a good friend when i have barely done anything for anyone? theres so much more that i can do, which im not doing. n why am i not doing it? shucks. too busy? too tired? what kinda good friend is too tired or busy 4 another? another thing, i hate it when i always have 2 pon training due 2 some last minute complication, and giving some screwed up, stupid reason or MC. i should be training instead of resting, at least doing land PT. shit man. is there something that i can do 2 improve this situation? the life of a hypocrite is laid bare before u.