Sunday, September 30, 2007

HAHA

www.ratemypoo.com




ENJOY :)

Thursday, September 27, 2007

God?

ye of little faith.
without faith it is impossible to please him.

yet again to question the premises of god.
why is it that life is so seemingly satisfying now
without being close 2 him at all?
is it a problem on my part?
someone please read my bible 2 me?

does god stem from merely a need?
then human relationships could jolly well replace him.
morals and ethics replace the values in the bible
miracles happen when people relax and calm their nerves.
if there is no salvation, there is no heaven or hell.
only the present.

satanism advocates that man is god.
looking at the argument, man can be god if all he needs is himself.

This is seriously what the fuck.

2963
Cast: (in order of appearance)
Gulliver
Doctor G
Personnel A
Personnel B
Personnel C

Prologue
[Lights focus on the centre of the stage]
Enter Gulliver.
Gulliver sees a horse and gets turned on.
Gulliver: Ooh, a horse.
Must touch.
Gulliver starts to shake immediately after touching the horse and he is transported to the future.
[Lights dim, Mr. Bean theme plays in the background]

Scene 1
Gulliver is still in somewhat of a daze, he sees a book besides him, picks it up and reads it aloud.
Gulliver: Year, 2363
Mankind, in total confidence of the holy status
Of his existence,
Has decided to exterminate
An intolerable injustice to his body.
Every part of his body except the hands,
Legs and something in between,
Should serve only a single function.
Imposing speech and mastication to his mouth
Is a great burden.
Thus, man has decided,
The eyes should only be used for seeing,
The nose for breathing
The ears for ornamentation
The mouth for eating.
On June 6th, the “Thought Manifestor” was created.
It captures the wavelength of our thoughts, and deciphers it into sound.
One simply needs to think, the device will speak for him.
Man no longer needs to talk.
Enter Doctor G
A person on a wheelchair hears Gulliver’s voice, and is intrigued by the disgusting nature of the sound produced. He sees Gulliver, and is appalled at his stupidity.
Gulliver: Oh my little pony,
Gulliver is shocked at the sight of the human.
Doctor G: Oh my holy, beautiful body,
That is a most disgusting sound.
Stop it at once.
Wait, what is that I see?
[Points towards the book]
Is that a book?
[Guffaws with hysterical laughter]
What kind of being are you? An imbecile?
Those chunky appendages must make it
Really difficult to turn the page.
[Chuckles]
Let me see...
Doctor G snatches the book from Gulliver but is overwhelmed by the weight of the book.
Book falls to the ground, and Doctor G falls out of his wheelchair.
Doctor G: Oh my precious body,
What are you waiting for you hideous monster of a man.
Get me off the ground.
Gulliver helps Doctor G back on to his wheelchair. Gulliver is in awe of these humans, who possess wonders that he has only dreamed off.
Gulliver: [As he helps Doctor G up]
Sir, I am truly in awe of your inventions
How you talk without voice.
Can you show me this “Thought Manifestor”?
Doctor G: No…
You filthy body will not dirty anything that is mine.
Unless...
[Smirks]
Unless you follow me.
And allow me to show you more marvellous inventions.
Gulliver: Sir, I am indebted.
I would do anything for you...
Doctor G: That’s a goooood boy...
Now gently place this on your head,
GENTLY; yes, now press this button here...
Gulliver’s obscene thoughts of his fetish with horses are revealed.
Gulliver’s Thoughts: Oh Horsey, you are one hot mama.
Give it to me baby...
Yeah, YEAH, YEAH!! YEAHH!!!!!
Gulliver is shocked and embarrassed, and immediately pulls off the “Thought Manifestor”. Doctor G laughs in the background.
Gulliver: O my Son of a Mare!
Doctor G: [Chuckles] Whoa cowboy,
Please follow me...
[Lights fade, End of Scene 1]

Scene 2
Doctor G: We must have him!
He is a god send!
Personnel A: He is the perfect test subject.
Personnel C: He will work better than all the white mice in the world combined.
Personnel B: He looks delicious, good enough to eat.
My appetite is growing just looking at him.
Personnel C: But is he a human?
He walks upright...
Personnel B: A freak, yes.
But definitely human.
Personnel A: Why, of course.
He will make such a lovely companion, dead.
Personnel C: Not if I eat him first...
Doctor G: Save your saliva, he comes...
Enter Gulliver.

Scene 3
Doctor G: After the prolong discussion with my other faculty members,
We have come to the conclusion that
Either you are the byproduct of the union between Man and Chimp
Or you are just a freak.
Thus, you hereby have the honor to be named: The Great Man Freak.
Gulliver: My honor indeed,
First I have heard such vivid description of my human self.
[Walks a bit]

Scene 4
Gulliver follows Doctor G around the laboratory. Personal B and C are dragging out a corpse. Gulliver hears them whisper.
Personal B: A sumptuous dinner we will have tonight.
Personal A: But please, let me touch this body first.
[Strokes the corpse]
Doctor G: Man Freak, look here.
[Gulliver turns]
Would you like one?
Enter Personal C
Personal C carries a platter with small delicate dumplings. Gulliver takes one from the platter.
Gulliver: How do I eat this?
Personal C: Make a hole in the side,
Put your mouth to the hole;
Suck the rich fluids out
And now, with one gulp finish the delicacy.
Now, enjoy it as it melts in your mouth.
Gulliver: [French Chef motion, Pleasurable Sounds]
Delicious
Oh, it tastes so smooth and succulent.
[Takes another]
Pray tell me how is it made?
Doctor G: Ah yes.
This is one of our greatest discoveries.
The artificial womb.
What you have just eaten,
Are the defective products of our latest batch.
Gulliver: [Chokes, Coughs violently, Spits]
These are human babies?
Doctor G: We call them Xiao Long Baos...
As I was saying,
The artificial womb has given us the ability
To produce Man without sex.
Gulliver: But why eradicate sex?
Doctor G: Because it is [Hatred]
The greatest hindrances to our pursuit of perfection.
Their sexuality corrupts our rationality.
Ah see here...
Gulliver is dragged into another room, with a row of brains
Human body stands on stage (with breathing tube?) Doctor G and Gulliver enter.
Doctor G: Here we are at last.
Gulliver: O Horror!
What is that vile being?
It looks as if it is a human body.
Doctor G: Yes…
What you see is but one of the many new bodies,
Artificially engineered to be rid of the many sins
That plague the human body.
See these rows of brains here?
All these brains have a segment removed.
We don’t know which segment of the brain controls actions of sins.
So…I guess we need to go trial and error.
When we found that worm, we can eradicate that
Part of the brain from all humans.
Gulliver: Was this what you spoke of,
When you mentioned “to create The Perfect Man”?
Doctor G: No no. (checking tag on man)
This version will expire soon.
That can hardly be said to be perfect now, can it?
But oh well. Let me show u our latest brain.
It’s a breakthrough in eradication of emotions!
[G takes a random brain(a helmet) and puts it on the man]
Man(open his eyes): I am superman. Behold!
[Man jumps and falls flat on his face ]
Doctor G: Err…nope. Wrong brain.
[Takes another helmet and put it on the Man]
Man: [Puts on a hat and starts to moonwalk] I adore children
[Does some random Michael Jackson dance]
Doctor G: NOOO! Try this.
Doctor G gives another helmet to Gulliver and Gulliver put it on the Test Subject
Man: Good morning fellow students.
We will renovate the stink hole.
We will make it slinkier.
We will rip out our beautiful field and build an artificial turf.
We will build a 13 storey building and chug all the import
While we rip them of their money.
We will up your fees and spend our funds on everything else except you.
We will abolish exams but we will have dozens of tests
And tons of useless projects instead.
You will be free from stress but don’t worry,
You will be in constant trauma, anxiety, strain and distress……
Doctor G: Oh my sizzling body! I am bobbing with cold! This is the one!
[Gulliver takes the brain and fixs it on]
Man: [stone do nothing]
Doctor G: Yes! This is one. See.
Lack of emotions. Give him a whack on the head.
[Gulliver Whacks the Man with a hammer]
Man: Ow. [Stares at Gulliver and snatches the hammer and starts whacking himself]ow. Ow. Ow.
Doctor G: Behold. No anger.
No resentment. No emotions.
No irrational actions!
I say we are well on our way to create the perfect man!.
Gulliver: Oh my sweet pony. Is there nothing you people can/t do?
Pray tell me,
What then will become of this subject who has expired?
Doctor G stares at Gulliver as if Gulliver had just asked him the most stupid question on earth.
Doctor G: We take out the trash of course. (human body opens eyes, screams, run around the stage)
Oh dear!
[Doctor G takes out a gun and shoots him]
Gulliver: Oh my pony, what have you done?!
Doctor G: Oh my hot body!! What have I done!?
Those chemicals in his body! They cost a dear lot.
Don’t you think it’s such a waste to just shoot him?
Gulliver says nothing but continues staring at body.
Doctor G: Ah well, never you mind.
One befitted with such a destiny as yourself
Cannot trouble his mind with such petty concerns.
As Gulliver passes, human body opens his eyes and a pitiful expression appears on his face. For a moment Gulliver stands there, watching it.

Scene 5
Doctor G: And moving on…
Gulliver: Please, I beg of you.
Show me no more.
With these eyes,
I have witnessed too many a folly man has committed.
Doctor G: Have it your way...
[Claps hands]
Personnel neutralize Gulliver, and drag his conscious corpse towards Doctor G.
Gulliver: Wait, why can’t I move my appendages.
What have you done?
Personnel A: He looks like a corpse...
Fresh, raw and juicy...
Oh my body,
Please, please do let me touch it...
[Rubs his hands with glee]
Doctor G: No! Touch him not or I will
Deal with yours.
Take him to the cell.
We shall commence with the experiments at day break tomorrow.
Personnel A: Lemuel Gulliver,
First a surgeon,
Then a captain of several ships.
Now you will become the perfect man,
Perfect in logic,
Stripped bare of the emotions that leads to folly.
Personnel B (looking at helmet): Why do you worry?
It is but a small price.
To pay for what you are about to be.
Personnel C: Bring in the hay gentlemen.
This mare will require its nourishment.
The three personnel laugh.
Exit, leaving Gulliver on stage.

Scene 6
Gulliver is alone in the prison. Gulliver removes the helmet and laments.
Gulliver: I’ve been disillusioned long enough.
Man has evolved far beyond
What I have ever dreamed off.
The selfish, proud, infidels that I beheld,
Never cease to amaze me with their
Irrational obsession with being perfect.
What amazes me even more
Are my very own eyes!
To think I was so blind to see perfection in rationality.
And to fall in love with such a vile thing as a Horse!
I see my own logic in their sanity,
Their striving to eradicate the very thing that makes me righteous,
My irrationality, conscience;
The pain of my own diseased heart,
As I watched the subject shot dead in cold blood.
The fiends, the ugly beasts,
Their lack of humanity has shown me the virtues in humanity itself.
Their emotionless desires, bred the monsters that captured
And tortured innocent people, in the name of perfection.
Is the eradication of emotion the price we pay for perfection?
With the prevalence of these mindless, cold hearted atrocities being the result?
There is no more love left in these satanic beings, only mindless pursuit for the unachievable: perfection.
My eyes saw only the flaws in humanity,
And I cursed it altogether,
Not knowing the sanity that irrationality brought with it:
My very own soul.
I cursed my conscience, my…
My wife! I have wronged her.
My children! They suffer in my folly.
What rationality is there when I cannot even love my own wife …
What else is there for me when I cannot even love my own children..
But it is too late to change.
There is no hope left,
To hell with this disgusting tail
[Pulls out the tail]
And you my, vile horse friend.
[Kicks the Horse]
Gulliver starts shaking, and he returns back through the time warp.
Gulliver: I am back?
I am back!
Wife, approach me with open arms, and gentle caresses.
For I am well, and I repent
Come to me.
[End of play]

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

hola! a tribute before we sink.

something good for a change?

of course...

the slack is nice. and the sea is bright. lalalalala. we all fall down.

slack slack slack slack slack.
(but we still have to study!)

mdf dont be so emo. you are gay enough.

bald nicky is nice. dng has a nice head. leehe has a nice mouth.
all fags are nice. - a hasty generalization for a change.

joey has a new song.
everything should be Christian.

gays are out. fags are in. we all fall down.
you are is of the fag.

WATERPOLO
Three and you are ET.
Two to be normal
One to play polo.

These are is of the balls.
The balls are is of have can play the waterpolo.
The waterpolo is two of can the fag.

DMP is the fag.
Gym and fags go together.
TECHNIQUE EVERYONE, TECHNIQUE.
buttocks out!
we musnt hurt the back.

Nelson is not replying.
Joel pranked me.
Everybody is stone per se.

lalalalalala. we all fall down.
fags galore :)

in jesus name

AMEN.

Saturday, September 08, 2007

a clean juxtaposition

for those reading this post.
it is no privilege.

the surreal vs the real

just as it is always within ones grasp.
the rest of the world can fade away,
but you who read this will not.