wth?

i feel like an asshole. man what a pussy i am. tamade. take this...Nicholas settles down in china...sniffing around their perfumes...starting a band...playing bass. me here? snivelling in self-pity. sniffing on my little posies. Oh my friend left. im gonna die. im gonna die of pity. oh wth man. i feel so cheated.i guess it is never meant to be. hahah. its time to move on. so far i have taken a walk down d wrong road. wth? when im supposed 2 be walking straight. i have turned n now walking backwards. shit. studies. spiritual life. everything. tamade. i havent been talking about my problems to anybody. those who i talk to. either do not see d seriousness of it or are in more problems than me or because i dont want 2 pollute them. so im kinda left to myself. i believe i shouldnt be talking about this. anyway. im always fine. relax u all

Oh Yes?

Oh Yes?...CTs are here...Oh Yes?...we have finished english n chinese...Oh Yes?...i think i did fairly okay...Oh Yes?...Oh Yes?...Oh Yes?...why d question mark at d end of the phrase?...it supposed to be said with so much vigour and life...but i do not have any life nor vigour left...somehow i wish that this CT will never end...crazy as i sound...i really wish it could be...Nicky will be leaving almost immediately after this CT...who will miss him...DAMMIT WHO WILL HUH?...i hate greed...i hate power...i hate things that kill the morals in a person...damn the job...why does his father need more money...he already has enough...i dont think i will enjoy myself if we camp on Wednesday nor jam on Thursday...i feel like stopping all d world n all time...now i dont think i got anymore life left in me...i dont really feel like talking now...there seems no point in d words i say...there seems no point in d smiles i smile...there seems life is just waiting 4 him to leave...before picking up d pieces...Oh Yes?...i dont think so...

it has been a long time

this blog seems to have been barren...i havent d time nor d broadband nor d inspiration 2 write any...sorry i worried all u readers with my last post...but i was really lost...nevermind picked up d broken pieces n moved on...i think thats d most important part of being a Christian...d ability to move on knowing that one has been forgiven...it seems rather sad though...anyway...i kinda got some inspiration to write this poem...took d style of writing from d Rime of the Ancient Mariner...haha...i thank God for Jesus...n i am not ashamed 2 show this 2 non-believers

I was a sinner
And foul words I hath said
But by blood and by broken body
For me the price my saviour paid

By death upon the cross
And the blood that he hath shed
My sins he forgave
At the price that he so willingly hath beared

Though pain he doth endured
He nor cried nor doth scream
Close to my heart my name he bore
My saviour my God my King

With head so low bowed in humble servitude
To Death's beckoning did he embrace
Though King of Kings and Lord of Lords
For me to death became he a slave

Oh see the blood
Oh feel the pain
But through the suffering
Our souls he stood to gain

Oh wretched wretched utterly wretched
An utterly wretched being am I
Because of lies of hate and of sin
From heaven he was sent to die

But rejoice I should
For on the Sunday after death days three
From death he doth awake
And slaved now death is to he

Rejoice Rejoice let us all Rejoice
For above all names is Jesus Christ
Lifted up now is he
Forever and evermore he shall reign
At the loving Father's right hand side
The lamb that was slain

Forever grateful to the price he paid
The sinner whom I am
For who am I and why do I deserve
The sacrifice of the purest holiest and sinless of seraphs