keeping silent

i keep silent....just like what i did today....no wish to talk....i keep to myself....i dun feel like sharing....who will care anyway....if i sit still....just being the quiet me....the world will just pass me by....society never favours the quiet....the people who keep to themselves....though they may be the most caring people....they are just left out....why?....last time i had a conference call with some of my friends....i didnt really talk....partly im hard of hearing....n partly i dunno what is going on....d conversation even had singing sessions....haha....n i was just stupidly holding the phone....n thinking okay?....n i just drifted away....mabbe there was d occassional question where is David?....but other than that....the conversation was dominated....why?....i think i shall keep silent....more time to observe the world as it passes by....n more time to reflect on what im thinking....who will care if im there anyway....who will even notice.............

ill going 2 be home soon

we parted ways at around 350.....Jondave Kunjie James n me....i got off myself....at Potong Pasir....d station was almost empty....as i walked on....i passed by d mural of Potong Pasir....my past flashed by....all the fun stuff...n d bad stuff....i remembered d people hus path i crossed....some left a real deep impression on my life....others left scars that will remain forever....n again i walked alone....past d road....where cars sped by....i walked on....looking at my feet....we all walk alone....life is a lonely journey....are we really alone?....i continue walking up d hill....tiring man....i starting perspiring....n i looked up....mostly dark n overcast sky....however i saw a small patch of bright blue sky....sunlight shining through....i smiled n thought 2 myself....im gonna make it....ill going 2 be home soon =)

why?

i hate pride.......freak it........i try so hard to keep it down........but everyone keeps reminding me about it........please........stop saying that im good or anything please?........im really trying to stop thinking about that.........God i really dunno why u made mi like that.......i really dunno wat ur trying 2 do 2 me..........until now i really cannot find my strengths.......wat d heck.........i seem 2 be able to do everything as well........i really dunno.........why did u make me like that.........i think my weakness is pride.......freak dis ego of mine.........d more people talk big about me TO me.........woah i feel so good........i sound so evil.......but that is the thought process going on in my brain........i really hate it........how can i learn to be humble?........how can i learn humility?........turn d attention to God?.......but its so damn difficult........i really dun like me........someone please come into my life n show me my place........cos i really dunno where is it.......jus 2dae i found out something.......another girl has a freaking crush on me........freak it man........i hate dis........y issit all this shit happens to me........wat is God trying to teach me from this.......i really dunno........i really dunno how to handle this........please Lord help me........i dun wan to hurt anyone by telling d truth........but neither do i wan to live with this.......i dun have any wish to be in a relationship anytime now........now all my frens r taunting me........wah gf seh........freak u all man........

wat is conformity

hmm......as i look around church rite........i c alot of ppl wif hair spiked.......etc etc.....followin latest fashion.......being "cool".......not an insult 2 ne 1.......but wat exactly is cool?......i hv asked miself b4........mani times b4......wat exactly is being cool?........issit an attitude?.......issit d clothes?........issit d accessories?.........tell mi wat is being cool?.......i tot abt it........n dese r mi tots.......i think being cool is conformity.......conforming 2 d world.......d world n all its trends.......y else would we be so into following fashion.......following trends.......y r we so engrossed in being lyk our favourite superstar........y r we imitating d attitudes of rappers.....rockers.......punks......y is d youth of our generation so into conforming 2 d world.......everiwhere i go........similiar hairstyle......similiar clothes......i feel tt d trends tt we ever so readily pursue.......r jus one of satans tools 2 drag us down........dey mae seem so lyk harmless..........but i feel lyk dis trends r realli hurtin us Christians.......no insult 2 ne 1 but.......i c alot of Christians sportin d same hairstyles.....etc etc.......i feel guilty 2o......cos im olso one of dem.......i asked miself again.......wat is d difference between conformity n dressing up wifout conforming........n dese r mi tots.......i think deres realli nothing wrong wif buying punk clothes........n dressing up liddat.........but things could go wrong........one could become so engrossed in following dese trends........tt one becomes lost in dem........or in another word.......idolatry......let mi end of by saein........( i noe it sounds lyk an essay but bear wif mi =) ).......conformity is abt changing.........changing oneself into sumthing else.......wat should one be conforming 2........more lyk Jesus?........or more lyk ones favourite pop sensations........i think if we r 2 focus on wat looks best on us........how our hair looks.......etc etc........we lose our focus on Christ.........n tt benefits no 1........no 1 is gonna let us into heaven cos of d wae we comb our hair.......hmm......most ppl do dis 2 find acceptance.......4rom frens........4rom d youth of our society......but where does true acceptance come 4rom?.........it comes 4rom Christ Jesus.......i urge all d Christians hu read dis post.......not 2 pursue trends so fervently........instead.........find acceptance in Christ........im not saein dun comb hair at all........dun buy dose kinda clothes at all........but instead lyk find a style one is suited 2.......n stick wif it........if one wans 2 wear punk clothes........one should be satisfied wif wat one is wearing.......instead of hvin a wan 4 better n more punk clothes.......cos lyk d more u wan.......d deeper u fall into satan's trap......it becomes an obsession........instead rite.......hv a wan 4 more of Christ........hahah.....i feel guity now.....hahah......happy growing in Christ.......=)

painful reality

its been a long time since i last posted a real entry........time is realli crap......it passes so fast......d fun never lasts........n d day is all but memories........ah well......tts life.......now it comes down hard......coach is crazy.......600m kicking onli.....1.2km warmup.......n tts trainin......man i plae waterpolo.....im not a dam swimmer.......its killin mi now man......ouch all over.....stiff n sore.....mi cough is realli crap......its been a week........2dae was a screwed up dae......d open book test didnt hv page numbers.........WTH.........i totally screwed it up........man im dead........DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD.........oh man.......i got a new addiction.......heavy metal........hmm........d noise......it jus makes mi go woohooo.......i realli seem 2 be goin in2 it.......nearly started on KISS.......woah man.........tt was scary.......Knights In Satan's Service......wat has gotten in2 mi.......i seem 2 be venturin in2 d music world........ever since i found tt website.......woah man.......songs after songs.......n now i get tired of songs dam fast........need 2 get more n more songs.........man wat has gotten in2 mi........i feel lyk a monster.......devouring music lyk a demon........n needin more n more.......wat has got in2 mi........now mi mum is real pissed wif mi........wat i was listenin 2 jus now wasnt even heavy metal........wats dere 2 get pissed abt???.........i feel d anger changing mi........its back 2 painful reality

hmm

dun blame mi.....its not lyk i never asked.......its d others hu lie thru deir teeth.......even wen deres sumthing obviously wrong.........dey go........oh im fine.......man......how fake can tt get.......mabbe u all dunno.....but i feel almost as bad man.......i noe tt u all goin thru sum shit......n i wan 2 help.......but u all wun let mi......hmm.....should i even care next time......it wastes mi time n energy.......n dun think i dun hv probs olso.......man im lyk addin stress 2 wat i got........should i jus stop helpin.......man i dunno.......

Thank God =)

happy.......Christian accepted Christ.......=)......thank God......thank God.......thank God.......