dry bones.

perhaps its because i have been dry too long. that i cant really tell the difference whether i am. but now i think i definitely am. it seems immediately after the retreat, the fire only lasted a few days. its kinda sad to think that im just hungering after an experience. why cant i love, perhaps i forgot how to love. i forgot what it is to express love. i forgot how to express love. i forgot what it is like to be loved. i know love is not just a feeling. but i havent had that feeling in a nong nong time though so its hard to fathom what is agape love like. that fuzzy tingly warm thing that springs from the bottom of your heart, you should know that feeling. worst of all, i dont know how to fix it. it is sad to know that im actually that hard.

Retreat =)

my new start to life has already begun. those who are the regular readers of my blog i thank you for all your comments. =) those little bits and pieces gave me hope whenever i needed it the most. i have not made any entry since the 8 of May and i apologize to those regulars =) i am still grounded for the holidays though but i had to post this. on the 5th of June was the church retreat. my first time at that. i was expecting a revival to come as i packed my bags, for i already knew how screwed my life already was. i needed a fresh touch and God is and always will be faithful. his spirit came like rushing wind and rain pouring down upon the wretched person who wrote this post. its amazing how he opens up a sore wound and just pours the disinfectant into it. everything that i had done that was displeasing to him was brought into my mind. it was so painful and i just broke down and cried, tearless and wrecked with convulsions. ouch. after the operation, only then could healing come, and did healing come. how peaceful and joyful. and finally the candy on the day of discharge =) how delicious is ur spirit living within me, his praise upon my lips. however insensitive i have grown, now i want to grow against. i need pray on that and i need passion back in my life =) continue to pray 4 me.