tapitoo lost =(

oh holy night. i threw a chair against the wall in a sudden outburst of violent rage. luckily it was a chair of exceptional quality, at somewhat a small price per se. but the facts still remain i blew up. suddenly and violently. why i asked myself. what happened to the person who exercizes restraint and self-control. and the next thing i know it, im slapped for speaking in an unruly manner towards my dad. the hell man. i have no idea why or when did this happen. since when did tapitoo lose his cool so easily. i came across this old name blog surfing, and it somehow brought back the memories of the old times. times when i wouldnt mind, times when i wouldnt blow up, times when i just simply was too naive to get angry. it seems that the new and improved Jai as im affectionally known as is the new monster. it is really a pain to progress up to this stage and find the basics crumbling back down again. if Jai is the bad guy, then God get rid of jai and give me back tapitoo. for in the end, he was still close 2 u.

friends =)

i think im jealous. hahah. feel green in d face when everyone is talking about going out, but im stuck at home mugging away (slacking too) hahah. i think its really quite frankly a waste of time, but i still long to go out with friends. weird feelings, but i dont know what i want. vasciliating inbetween the two sides these few days. but based on my past experience, i would rather not have this huge social circle, and become such a superficial person. i prefer a smaller but deep circle of friends now. call me old but i consider me stupid for pursuing such a goal last time. friends =) hahah. i really have no more say.