Midyear sux

midyear......it jus sux.......stressful period.......i still got lyk 5 projects due veri veri soon.....haiz.......dis stress is killin mi.......i dun feel lyk doin ne thing after ceein d amount of hw........hvnt been readin bible......not coz of no time.......im jus procrastinatin.......freakin jus feel so dam lazi lah......haiz......sae alot of vulgarities now under stress.......2wice liaoz.......i jus feel lyk droppin dis commitment........its so difficult 2 express miself wifout d word......so difficult 2 tawk amongst mi frenz liaoz.......i pray but.......wats d use now???.......i think it has jus sunk in so deep........n ur lyk how mani billions of miles awae.......hu d heck am i prayin 2.......i ask miself sumtimes........i dun hear ur voice.......i dun feel ne thing.......where r u if ur still dere........issit coz of mi???......issit coz i never search hard enuf???........well sum1 pls freakin tell mi HOW.......haiz......i jus feel so shitty now........lyk droppin everi thing.......all mi commitments........n jus slackin d shit out......midyear sux.......

Numb

numbness.......d feelin is so cold.......so hard........so dry........u cant feel ne thing.......i cant feel ne more......i kinda jus lost mi sense of compassion.......lyk tts so shit.......haiz.......how???......mi heart at times jus switches off.......read dis touchin book......i was lyk hu gifs a dam abt it.......it kinda scares mi........i was never lyk dis.......is is coz of skool???.......haiz i think im becomin more selfish.........scary.......pls pray???.......mi mom saed 2 mi.......dun conform 2 d world........ur supposed as christians........ur supposed 2 influence d world........haiz.........ill try........okay........lets leave d bad stuff aside........i got mi trophy last Fridae.......still resentin ACS I......aiya its basically our fault.......its our fault tt we lost.......sux.......we could hv done better.......heh heh.......Jia Hao quit waterpolo........so tt means most prob im in d team.......n tt means tt we lose a dam good plaer.......i better train hard.......2 more years.......i will be ready 2 whack deir butts.......finally beginnin 2 perk up......last sundae service was......ROX......WEEEEE........u noe i hvnt saed F*** d whole dae........YAY........dis sounds childish........but i dun care........livin dis new life is fun........heh heh.........till next time

Rebelling against no1

i realised.......tt rebellin against d world......doesnt getcha ne where......it jus kills u........slowly......real slowly........i tot no1 else other dan mi frenz understood mi........i was so wrong.........u noe mi more dan i noe miself........u noe everi single strand of hair i hv on mi head.......u planned everi thing abt n everi thing tt has, is n is goin 2 happen 2 mi.......thank u Lord........mi parents........i realise........dey noe mi more dan i noe miself..........dey noe wat im thinkin abt...........dey took care of mi since i was born......dey noe mi character.........its lyk tryin 2 fight ppl tt noe exactly wat im lyk...........im so stupid.........i was rebellin against no1........all d shit i did........d fire extinguisher box........pourin milk in2 d computer table........pullin out d metal piece off d wall...........jus 2 name a few..........all d vulgarities..........everi thing...........ppl tot i was sum paikia.......wat example as a christian hv i set???...........i was jus hurtin no1 except miself n d ppl closest 2 mi.........mi family..........mi frenz........mi God.....i feel so stupid........i feel so sorri.........2 everi 1 else ive hurt........im sorri........i hate hvin dis double personality..........i hate livin dis hypocritic life.......i hate livin a dam lie.......i jus hope tt its not 2o late 2 change..........i jus hope so..........

dam teacher

I CANT STAND U NE MORE..........sack mi as d dam monitor.....wateva i dun mind.......i jus voluteered coz d other contenders were all muggers.........jus do it......i jus cant take u n ur shit ne more......dam u........i noe last time u scold mi 4 bein noisy rite.......i noe its mi fault.......n i did become quieter..........but.........ur still after mi.......lyk i did become quieter........lyk i did ask d class 2 keep quiet........lyk i stopped all mi nonsense.........lyk wat d fuck........yesterdae i nearly cried......bitch u wanna scold mi rite........wat can i sae.........but wat d fuck is saein tt im a christian n i mus set a good example.........n saein wat shit abt not obeyin god n parents..........wat d fuck is wrong wif tawkin HUH?!?!?!........IS IT A DAM FUCKING SIN?!?!?!........1st thing........u can mess wif mi.......but u dun FUCK around wif mi religion.........2nd thing...........dun FUCK around wif mi family........3rd thing........thanks 4 totally pissin mi off.......n startin a miserable chain of events.........mabbe its mi fault 4 doin tt........its mi fault 4 gettin angry.........its mi fault 4 breakin mi dam vow of not saein fuck ne more..........i jus feel lyk breakin down.......i jus feel lyk givin up........DAM U

Everidae is jus not mi dae......

its jus not mi dae........its dam suay........its alwaes dam suay.......everidae......EVERI DAM DAE.......somethin shitty has 2 happen.........some-dam-thing has 2 happen........n screw up d entire dae........haiz...........1st mi MP3........MI MP3 kena confiscated...........i was so stupid.......listenin 2 it in class........haiz.......but i geddit........y mus d teacher tawk 2 mi mom b4 she gifs dis dam thing back.......i bet shes listenin 2 it all d time in d staffroom......yea i noe its mi fault.......but i dun c y mus mi parents get involved in dis business.........ppl hp ring in d class......she return wifout gettin involved........dam bitch........2nd mi NIKE bottle lost........i couldnt remember where i put it........stupid........most stupid........again its mi fault........ARGH........3rd is d most suay.....n it was not mi fault.....was eatin in KFC........mi fren pushed his tray......n coz our trays were jus beside each other.........mine spilled.....mi cheese fries......mi drink.......all gone........suay until lyk crap lah........everidae is jus not mi dae........it jus isnt......chao suay leh......haiz.......mi fren cuts 2 destress.......cut as in d wrist n arm.......i cant jus get thru 2 dis fren 2 stop n make dis fren stop.......feel lyk a dam failure.......y cant u jus stop cuttin urself???.......u wan u cut mi lah.......i dun mind......but mus u realli cut urself.......i jus feel lyk givin up on dis fren.........but i cant......i jus cant........haiz........more probs.........gre8t......jus gre8t.......